


random winter creature bits

by BlaiddtheWolf



Series: The Winter Creature [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Singing, Snow, okay theres more now, so its not just gore, so much snow, thats all this is, thats it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9919283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaiddtheWolf/pseuds/BlaiddtheWolf
Summary: i get bored and write little stories in the universe of my winter creature series, so i figure ill post them here





	1. meal

**Author's Note:**

> im not gonna be editing these, I'm far too lazy, so there'll be no capitalization and the like. I'm sorry if that really bothers you, but I'm a lazy being.

the creature

 

its pouring outside of the tent. the weather is not cold enough for it to turn to snow, but still colder than is comfortable. not that any time is comfortable. occasionally there will be a sunny enough day, and it'll find a warm enough rock that the creature doesn't consider itself freezing anymore, but its never warm. the only time it can be warm is when its eating, when it has hot struggling prey that oozes heat like it has too much. the creatures stomach growls angrily at it. how dare it think of food and have none to offer! but the creature is doing its best, it is hunting. it has been away from the main camp for five days looking for food, but to no avail. evidently nothing else likes the rain either. knowing the rain isn't going to let up and that its late morning outside, the creature slides out of its sleeping bag and rolls it up and puts it away in its backpack. it steps out of the tent and is greeted by the falling sky, pouring down on it, soaking through its thin jacket and plastering its long hair to its skull. the creature grumbles and zips the tent back up. it decides it will leave the tent set up and just return here tonight instead of trying to break the tent down in this weather only to set it up again later. the creature leaves its backpack in the tent and starts toward a human trail. its a long shot, but there may be someone crazy enough to brave the rain, and if there is, hopefully the creature will run across them. the creature is miserable and still tired, but its hunger drives it forward, towards the possibility of food. its been nearly half the day when the creature finally hears something. its hard, in the rain, to hear, smell, or see things, so whatever it is must be loud. at this point the creature doesn't care if its a squirrel, as long as it can be eaten. but as it gets closer the creature is able to make out words.

“i did not sign up for this! its cold, and rainy, and miserable, and we haven't seen anything exciting!” a man cries. 

“oh shut up! he cant control the weather, and this is still beautiful. the wind is just singing!” a woman shouts back at him. well, not the wind, but the creature is singing. 

another man is trudging in front of them, keeping an eye on their surroundings. “they say that these mountains are home to the fleischesser, a cannibal monster, and it sings to lure its prey into traps.” he calls back to the first two. 

“well thats just stupid.” the man states. “theres no such thing.”

“maybe there is, and it only eats complainers like you!” the woman pokes at him. the man glares at her. “but listen to it, rick! isn't it beautiful?” she insists. 

“oh yeah, the wind sure can sing, should put it on american idol.” the man grumbles.

“youre just grumpy because you didn't pack enough socks. oh, the singing stopped.” the creature stops singing, trying to get a read on the group. the female would be the easiest to catch, as she responds to his songs, but the two men pose a problem. one of them knows about the creature and its tricks, the other is simply too stubborn to be lured away by something so insubstantial as something singing in the wind. the creature considers. it only needs one of them for itself, but all three could feed its whole family. 

rick

 

it is wet, and cold, and grey, and awful, and rick doesn't want to be here. his girlfriend roped into doing this 'mountain tour’ and it has just been dreadful. rick decides he hates cold, and he hates snow, and he hates rain, and he hates their superstitious tour guide that tells stories of monsters hidden around every corner. speaking of him, where'd he go? 

“hey, olivia, wheres our guide?” he calls out to his girlfriend.

“he's right, oh. he's not there. he was right-oh my god.” she stops and her hands cover her mouth,

“what?!" rick jogs up to her and looks down at what she’s staring at. “oh my god.” their guide is laying on his back in the snow, his neck at an odd angle. “fuck, what the hell happened.” he looks toward his girlfriend but she's disappeared as well. “olivia!” he calls out. 

“rick!”he hears her scream. how'd she get so far away?

“olivia! where are you?” he yells out, starting toward her voice. he makes it a few yards but stumbles on something in the slush. rick looks down and screams. olivia is laying in the snow with a long slash across her throat, the ground around her stained a deep red. oh god. oh god oh god. olivia is dead, something killed her and their guide and now he's alone out here, and olivia is dead. rick falls to his knees next to his girlfriend and sobs. then he hears the singing again. its more substantial this time, closer, less like the wind, more like a person. or a fleischesser. 

“please no, no.” he wails at the possible creature. the singing stops and rick lifts his head. standing before him is a young man with long hair covering his face, in a thin jacket and worn out jeans. the young man tilts his head.

“do you believe now? what was being told to you? have you learnt your lesson?” the man asks in a rough voice. then its voice changes, “did you like my singing? did you think it was beautiful like olivia did, rick?” now the creature sounds like olivia, how excited she was about the singing wind. rick sobs harder and clutches onto olivias jacket. the young man follows the movement with his eyes then looks back up at rick.

“why are you doing this?" rick wails. the man smiles. 

"because im hungry rick, i haven't eaten in oh so long, wont you understand?” the man croons softly, no longer using olivias voice. rick shivers, the mans low voice sliding beneath his skin and raising goosebumps. “oh rick, are you cold?” the creature asks in a sickly sweet voice. rick closes his eyes and holds onto Olivia harder. he's going to die, out here in the snow and the rain, and he doesn't want to see it, cant stand to see it. he feels a hand pointed with claws run over his head and down his neck to rest on his shoulder. the hand unzips the jacket he's wearing and peels it slowly off his body. oh god is this monster going to…he’s so caught up in thinking he may be raped by the monster he's not expecting the razor sharp teeth that suddenly sink into his shoulder. he screams and the creature whose teeth are embedded in his shoulder purrs. then more pain as rick can feel the flesh on his shoulder rip apart until theres just a gaping hole and the sound of chewing next to his ear. oh god the thing is eating him. its eating him alive and rick cant just sit here and let it happen! despite the agonizing pain in his shoulder rick opens his eyes and stands. the monster in the body of a man is snarling. 

“i was trying to make this easy for you rick. sit back down and ill kill you quickly, stand and fight and you'll be alive the whole time i eat you.” it threatens. 

“kill me quickly? what, like you killed olivia?” rick spits out.

“her death was near painless. your opportunity for such a death is slipping.” the monster snarls. rick screams and lunges toward the creature, going to tackle it. the monster dodges and swipes its claws across the back of ricks shoulders. rick cant help but scream as the claws slice open his skin and blood begins to trickle down his back. he falls to his knees and is kicked hard between his shoulder blades, sending him face first into the slush. his shoulders burn and the spot that the creature had bitten screams at him. then knees plant themselves on his lower back and he cries out, though its muffled by the watery snow he's pressed in. 

"you lost your chance." the monster hisses, then pulls ricks shoulder up and bites again. he screams in terror and pain as again and again chunks of meat are torn from his shoulder and back. rick begins to slip in and out of awareness, the pain ebbing and flowing. he's vaguely aware that he's stopped screaming and feels the tugging at his body lessen. or maybe his feeling lessens. he's not sure he cares anymore. olivia is dead and he's being eaten and why should he care at this point? theres nothing he can do and he doesn't feel anything anymore anyway. ha, anything anymore anyway. any any any. 

“goodbye rick.” goodbye? wheres he going? oh, he's going to sleep, sleep sounds nice. goodbye olivia. or hello.

the creature

 

the creature bids farewell to rick as he slips away and feasts on the mans body. sharp pointed teeth rip through the flesh and a greedy mouth swallows it. the creature eats and eats till its full to bursting, then pushes itself off the half eaten corpse and lays out in the snow. it has to rest for a while, give its stomach a chance to digest, before it can begin its journey back home. an hour later it gets to its feet and hikes back to its families camp. it gets there and its family is huddled in a tent, waiting for it. 

“venerunt. ego cibum adprehendit.” [come. i found food] it rasps. the tent opens and its sisters tumble out, excited.

“cibus! cibus!” [food! food!] they call out, running about each other. the creature watches them with amusement and starts back toward the bodies once its parents has come out of the tent. its family follows it to the food and when they reach it its sisters all dive at olivia, ripping her apart. its parents share the tour guide and the creature manages to eat more of rick. one of its sisters leaves olivia to join the creature and together they finish him off, head smashed open to get to the brain and bones snapped so they could suck at the marrow. they fight over the heart but, being bigger and stronger, the creature wins and eats it in just a few bites. its sister hisses at it and goes back to eating whats left of the mans viscera.


	2. lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asher is lost and someone, or something, is looking out for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place after part two

asher is lost. like, really truly fucking lost. look left; snow. look right; snow. up, down do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around; guess what, more snow. asher sits down in the snow and puts his head in his gloved hands. he's been wandering around this barren wasteland for two days and he doesn't think he's gonna find his way back. he's gonna die on this mountain and no one will ever find him and hell never finish that captain america documentary, and why is that on his priority list? well, it was pretty good. but still! mountain, snow, dying. and its getting dark. asher sighs and stands, pulling his tent out of his bag. he sets it up and climbs into his sleeping bag and falls asleep with tears in his eyes. 

 

asher wakes up to a low voice lilting into his tent. a voice. a person! he scrambles out of tent. “hello? hello!” but the voice does not respond, simply continues singing. its a soft melody, soothing but eerie, and asher feels compelled to follow it. leaving behind his tent he walks toward the voice, but as soon as he gets close enough to where maybe, just maybe he can make out a shape, it floats further away. this happens multiple times over the course of the next few hours, asher getting agonizingly close to the voice before it flits away once more. then, suddenly, the voice stops, and there is only silence. asher looks around, confused. did he really just follow a voice for hours only for it to stop, leaving him more lost than before? because now he has no clue where he is, again, but this time has no tent. asher looks down, and sees… a trail. a trail! that leads to people! asher practically sobs in relief and starts down the trail, but hesitates. “thank you!” he calls out. he's not sure who, or what, he is thanking, but he feels like it needs to be said. asher takes a deep breath and starts back down the trail, back home.


	3. prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is inspired by zsomeones story in this fic world, its a different situation, but it follows the story line set up by them.

bucky and fury have made a deal; prisoners of shield, or whatever fury is calling it these days, are given a choice, life rotting in a cell, or escape the creature and live a free life. of course, not much is said to them about exactly what the creature is, and usually any hydra agents that had worked with bucky at some point choose to rot in a cell. but now and then there would be that one that thought they could escape him, or didn't know much about him, that would choose to take a chance to walk free. none of them ever have. 

today was a day that a prisoner would be dropped off, bucky can hear the helicopter approaching. it had been a month since the last prisoner was released, and though bucky had hunted since then (just animals, the only humans bucky ate now were the men and women dropped off for him), he was hungry. 

bucky leaves the small cabin he has instead of a tent and heads toward the helicopter. he climbs a tree and waits, eyes closed. while waiting he slips into a more feral mindset, not so far as to forget who he is again, but far enough there is none of the conscience he's developed tugging at the corner of his mind. bucky opens his eyes when the sound of crunching snow and panting breaths reach him. he looks down at the source of the noise and confirms it is a shield prisoner, wearing cheap white snow gear that bucky will end up using as lining for his nest he's built in the cabin. if it doesn't get too bloody of course. bucky likes for the place to look good for when steve comes over during the summer. 

bucky watches the man pass and crawls down the tree a few minutes after he has gone. he makes his way across the snow, following the footprints left in the snow by the prisoner. he trots along, keeping the man within his own earshot, but undetectable to the other. after about fifteen minutes the man slows, then stops, panting for breath. bucky climbs back up a tree and watches the prisoner. he has sat down on a rock and is drinking deeply from the water bottle he has been provided. he keeps glancing around, looking for something, likely the elusive creature he was told so little about, but never looks up.

the sky is getting dark, and the prisoner huddles against a tree, wrapping himself in the blanket from his pack. bucky waits till the man is asleep then climbs down the tree and silently approaches him, then clamps his flesh hand over the mans mouth and grabs his now flailing arms with the metal one. bucky drags the man away from the tree and to a clearing, where the faint light of the moon is not blocked, then lets him go. the man scrambles to his feet, panting and yelling, trying to run away, but bucky catches up to him in a few strides and pulls him back down into the snow. bucky does this a few times, letting the screaming man go, allowing him to make it a few feet then tackling him back to the ground. after a while the prisoner gives up, just huddles in the snow and whimpers. bucky circles him slowly, purring. the man is muttering something under his breath, so softly even bucky cant hear it, so he crouches down next to the man and listens.

“please no, please, no no no, i don't want to die.” he utters, tears during down his face. bucky just rolls his eyes. 

“im afraid you have no choice.” bucky tells the prisoner. “im going to eat you, slowly, and you are going to die in a great amount of pain.” 

the man wails and bucky slowly pushes him down into the snow. the man remains pliant, not resisting buckys silent instructions. he's a little disappointed, bucky likes it when there is a struggle, when his food is flailing about. but it seems this prey is too scared to move, so bucky sighs and proceeds to pull off the mans jacket and shirt, exposing flesh. the man shivers violently and sobs harder. “please please please.”

“i would say sorry, but, I'm not.” bucky croons, then kneels over the man. he sticks his nose into the mans neck and inhales deeply, then bites down on his shoulder, tearing away flesh and swallowing it down. he eats and eats and the prisoner slips away, screams fading as bucky devours him.


	4. find the monster

devon, for the past five months, has gone out to the snowy forested mountain, to the same spot, and stayed until dawn. he's waiting for it. he’s sure it is there, has heard the stories, he just has to be ready for when it comes. he sets up his night vision, motion sensor and thermal imaging cameras every night, but so far, nothing. well, goats, marmots, and other such critters, but nothing important, nothing worth being out here every night for five months for. 

devon nearly doesn't go out tonight, it was a long day at work and he is tired. all he wants to do is go home and curl up on his crappy bed and listen to soothing music and go to sleep. but he cant just not come out. so he packs up his gear, gets in his car and drives as close to his camp as he can before hauling his bags out of the car and walking the best of way. the snow would have made the hike difficult, but devon has been hiking this trail for five months and can practically do it in his sleep. devon reaches his ‘base’ and begins to walk the perimeter, setting up cameras as he goes. once finished, he sits in a chair in front of all the monitors for the cameras and waits.

devon must have dozed off because he wakes with a start when someone starts speaking. “hey there.” a man greets. devon rubs the sleep from his eyes and tries to take a close look at him, but the man is standing just beyond the light of the monitors. 

“um, hey. i didn't think there would be anyone up here this late.” he says.

“yeah me neither. but here you are. mind if i sit?” the man asks. 

“uh, sure, go ahead.” devon agrees. the man just plops down in the snow, still out of the light. 

“so whatcha doing here?” the stranger asks. 

“well, uh.” devon doesn't want to say monster hunting, that would make him sound crazy. “i like looking for the wildlife.” he lies. well, sort of lies. the monster could be considered wildlife.

“ever see anything cool?” the man inquires.

“uh, saw a bear once. that was pretty cool.” he confesses. it had been pretty cool, though devon had been happy it was spotted on the camera farthest away from him. from the dim outline devon can see of him, it looks like the man nods. “so what are you doing out so late?” devon asks the man.

“oh you know, just hiking about. the forest is so pretty at night.” the stranger explains. now its devon who nods. they sit in silence for a while, not an awkward silence, but not exactly comfortable either. tense, uncertain. eventually the stranger stands, says his goodbyes, and leaves the way he came. devon tries to watch him through the cameras but its as if the man disappeared. 

 

———————————

 

over the next month the stranger shows up three more times, never appearing on the cameras and always staying out of the light. they make small talk, discussing things like the weather and local wildlife. the fifth time he shows up, the man sits but says nothing for a while. any questions devon ask go unanswered, and he can see the two specks of lights shining off the mans eyes, unwavering and staring at him. its freaking him out. 

“okay, seriously, whats up? you're freaking me out.” devon confesses. he hears the stranger sigh. 

“you shouldn't be here.” the man finally says. 

“no? and why not?” devon asks.

“dont you know what lurks in these forests?” the man inquires.

devon pauses. “well, actually, thats why I'm here.”

“youre looking for it.” devon can see the mans head fall.

“if were talking about the same thing, then yeah. for six months now.”

“the fleischesser, the lyudoyed, the wendigo, the man eating monster.” the stranger lists. “you are looking for that?”

“you know of it then?” devon asks excitedly. generally people have never heard of the fleischesser, and tend to give him strange looks when he tries to explain. 

“oh, i know of them. just didn't think there was anyone crazy enough to come looking.” the man replies.

“come looking? so it does live here? have you seen it?” devon cant remember the last time he's been this excited.

“how do you think hell react when he discovers you've been trespassing on his territory for six moths now?” the stranger asks instead of answering.

“he? so you know its a male?” devon pulls out his notebook, ready to write down whatever this stranger knows.

“now, if this where any other lyudoyed, they would've torn you apart, eaten your organs and stored your flesh for later.” the other man says. “but lucky you, this lyudoyed decided to wait, and watch, and see if you would just leave on your own, give up. but imagine his dismay when after six months the trespasser has yet to leave.”

“im not sure what you're talking about.” devon says.

“im talking about a choice. does the lyudoyed walk away, leave you be, never think about you again, or does it kill you for trespassing and scaring off all the other prey in this area. and for the fact that humans just taste so good.” the stranger has begun to rise to his feet and devon leans back in his chair. he has a bad feeling. the stranger stalks forward and devon leans so far back his chair falls and he lands in the snow, then suddenly there is a weight on top of him and all he sees are teeth. long, sharp teeth crowded in a human mouth. though maybe not so human after all. 

“and you see, this lyudoyed hasn't eaten a human in quite a while, is trying to quit actually, but for six months this moron has been testing him, every night. and he's not quite sure sure he can resist anymore.” the teeth gape open and a tongue comes out and licks devon on the cheek, and he cant help the whimper that escapes him. he shuts his eyes, not wanting to see those teeth anymore, not wanting to see his oncoming death by the very creature he has been searching for. but nothing comes, just the hot breath above him and the sound of soft growls. then the growls abruptly stop as… a phone rings. 

The monster above him sighs, plants his knees on devons chest and pulls the phone from his pocket. “who is this?- hello stark, up late?- oh I'm hunting- no, you didn't interrupt, I've got it- i know, I'm horrible- what is it? uh…”

“help!!” devon screams at the phone, “help me, please!!” then devon can hear yelling on the other end of the phone. the monster gives devon a withering look, but doesn't do anything to further hurt him. 

“stark- stark- stark! im not gonna eat him!- i know i said- I'm trying to scare him, you're not helping- i want him to stay away from my territory, thats why!- i guess i could’ve, but this would've made sure- well I'm going to have to now- yes- yes- okay, goodbye.” the monster lets out a sharp breath and looks back down at devon. “look, heres the thing, you need to stay away from my forest. i can tolerate the occasional hiker, but you set up with all your cameras is really not good. I'm sorry i tried to scare you away, but I've found that thats really the best way to do this. so, promise to stop coming here and ill promise not to eat you. because please understand, if i see you again, i will eat you. do you understand?” 

devon is trembling, trying to speak, trying to agree, but he's too scared, cant get the words out of his throat. “you can nod.” the monster says. devon nods vigorously. the monster nods back and stands, taking his weight off devon. immediately devon scrambles backwards through the snow, scared the monster isn't telling the truth and really will devour him. “pack up your cameras and go, ill be back tomorrow night to make sure everything is gone.” then the monster, the fleischesser, the lyudoyed he calls himself, walks away, leaving devon alone in the snow. devon pants heavily, watching the monster go. after he's been out of sight for five minutes devon scrambles to his feet and picks up his bags. he runs around, cramming cameras into his packs, not caring if the bump into each other, not caring if his expensive lens break. he finishes grabbing everything in record time, runs to his car and drives, probably faster than is necessary, to home, never to return to this forest.


	5. daredevil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt is worried and bucky is faster than matt thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place when bucky is feeling down, i can't remember what chapter it is, but I'm sure you guys will figure out around what time this takes place.

a few months after his last meeting with bucky, matt smells him again in hells kitchen. curious, and a little concerned, matt makes his way to the man. creature. lyudoyed he had said right?  
matt makes it close enough that he can hear the lyudoyeds heartbeat. steady, calm, not the heartbeat bucky had when he was hunting. relaxing, matt gets closer.  
“hey.” bucky calls out when matt is about a block away. matt makes it the rest of the way to where bucky is sitting on the edge of a roof and perches softly next to him.  
“what are you doing out here this late?” matt asks. bucky slides forward a hair and looks down at the street.  
“did you know this wouldn't kill me? if i fell. or jumped. hurt, yes, but not kill me.” was buckys answer. and didn't that take matt by surprise.  
“are you going to jump?” matt replies carefully. bucky gives a small smile.  
“Wouldn't do much good would it?” he says softly.  
“depends on what your goal is.” matt comments.  
“yeah, guess so.” bucky agrees.  
“what would your goal be?” matt prods. bucky just leans forward more. matt wants to grab him, pull him away from the edge of the very high building, but he's not certain how the lyudoyed will react. such an action could end with buckys teeth in his throat, and that is not something matt wants to happen. call him the man without fear as much as you want, he is respectfully afraid of the being next to him. but he is also concerned for him. bucky clearly needs help right now, matts just not sure how to provide it.  
“how about we get you home, yeah?” matt suggests, standing. bucky nods and stands as well, following matt. matt leads them across rooftops and through alleyways, taking the path with the least about of people, remembering buckys comment about large crowds. not that there are large crowds at night, but better safe than sorry right?  
but about halfway to the tower they hear a scream a few blocks away. bucky is after it immediately, matt tearing after him. damn bucky is fast. matt catches up as bucky pulls a man from the woman that had screamed and throws him across the alley into the wall, growling. matt jumps down and goes to the woman.  
“go, now!” he orders, then focuses again on bucky as the woman runs away. bucky has the man pinned to the ground, snarling in his face, but he's not killed him yet, so matt approaches slowly. bucky ignores him until matt gets close enough to reach out and touch him, then turns and growls his displeasure. “hey, hey, its okay. i need you to step away alright? i need you to leave to man alone.”  
without moving from his position bucky snarls again. “why?”  
“because i don't want him dead, we can knock him out and leave him for the police. just… don't kill him. please.” matt pleads, holding a hand out in a placating gesture. for a moment nothing happens, then bucky abruptly steps away from the man beneath him.  
“thank you.” matt says, then walks up to the man that had been beating the woman. he can hear sirens in the distance, getting closer. likely the woman had called the police. the man is a shivering mess beneath him and matt grabs him by his shirt and hauls him into a sitting position, then pulls out one of his sticks and slams it into the guys temple, knocking him out swiftly.  
“alright, lets get you home.” matt beckons to bucky, who follows in silence. matt goes as fast as he can toward the stark tower, praying they hear no more screams. after a few minutes buckys heart rate lowers to normal, and when they're a block away from the tower bucky taps on his shoulder.  
“i know a side entrance if you want to come?” bucky says softly. matt nods and lets bucky take the lead. bucky leads them down the streets to the back of the tower and a hidden entrance. well, not hidden to matt, he can hear and feel the air currents in the room behind the wall. bucky puts his palm to the door and after a moment it slides open. bucky leads matt through hallways and elevators, matt making sure he keeps track of where they are going so he can find his way back.  
the elevator door slides open and matt is lead into a large room, on one side a kitchen, on the other a large tv and several couches that sound like they would be really comfortable. far more comfortable than his own at least.  
“this is the communal floor. theres more food here than on steve and my floor.” bucky explains, opening the fridge and pulling something out. matt sniffs. bacon? bucky sits down at the table thats by the kitchen and opens the package, peels a strip of the raw bacon out and puts it in his mouth.  
matt had heard somewhere that pig tastes similar to human. their flesh does smell remarkably close, so its not so hard for matt to believe, but it makes him want to never eat pig again.  
soon, after bucky has eaten half the package of bacon and, after gentle prodding from bucky, matt has eaten a banana, he hears an elevator approaching. “someones coming.” he tells bucky. bucky cocks his head to the side, like matt often does, and takes a deep breath.  
“its stark.” he informs matt, then goes back to his bacon. matt wants to leave. he doesn't want to get caught up in avengers stuff, has tried to stay away from this group, doesn't want to be associated with them. he can stand clint, and now bucky, but stark… probably not.  
“hes been wanting to meet you, and you'd probably prefer to meet him now.” bucky says, guessing what matt is thinking. “otherwise he's just going to track you down.”  
“i dont want him to know who i am, or anything about me.” that he's blind.  
Bucky nods. “i wont tell him. if you could keep what happened tonight between us as well, id appreciate it.”  
matt nods back as the elevator door opens and stark saunters out.  
“so, bucky, you bring me devil of hells kitchen! I'm touched.” he says, loudly. matt hears bucky just roll his eyes.  
“i didn't bring you anything stark, so either shut up or be polite.” bucky mumbles.  
“donner im hurt!” stark gasps, hand over his heart. he then turns to matt and claps his hands together. “now you, luci, i have a lot of questions for you. who are you first of all, whats your name, otherwise I'm just going to keep coming up with wonderful names for you. how do you do all your acrobatics, because i think you would give clint a run for his money on the whole parkour thing, and whats up with the princess bride get up? and-”  
“enough. I'm not here to answer your questions stark.” matt commands.  
“okay, okay, why are you here then?” stark pushes.  
“bucky invited me, i accepted.” matt bites out.  
“okay but why? are you two besties, gasp! bucky, are you cheating on steve?!” stark accuses bucky. bucky snarls and matt can hear his teeth clicking as he gnashes them together and buckys muscles tensing as he's preparing to get up. matt stands swiftly and steps between stark and the growling lyudoyed.  
“hey, easy bucky, can we go up to your floor? without stark, okay. it can just be us, or i can leave, whatever you want.” matt suggests. bucky closes his eyes and takes a deep shuddering breath, then nods.  
“fine, lets go.” he glares at stark the entire time they walk to the elevator. they ride in silence until they reach buckys floor, then step out of the elevator and into the dining room. once they've both settled, matt asks his question.  
“whats up bucky? is something wrong?”  
“i attacked steve.” bucky whimpers.  
“what?” matt cant help but be startled. from everything he's experienced and heard, bucky is devoted to steve.  
“i didn't mean it, i was having a nightmare and he woke me up, but i didn't mean it.” he whines, as if matt wouldn't believe him.  
“hey, steves okay right?” matt asks. he has a feeling bucky wouldn't be here if steve weren't alright. bucky nods.  
“he is now, but he had bruises on his neck. bruises i put there.” bucky insists. matt is used to guilt, he has a personal relationship with guilt, but bucky seems determined to make himself out as the bad guy.  
“but he's okay now, there was no lasting damage, and I'm certain he forgave you, so everything is okay now, right?” matt prods.  
“no! its not okay, i attacked him and i hurt him and you don't do that to your deliciae, you just don’t.” bucky is near tears now. matt is not sure what deliciae means, but it obviously important to bucky. matt chews on his lip.  
“what you did, you did while waking up from a nightmare. no one is in their right mind when that happens, and what you did wasn't done with malicious intent, really any intent, so there is no reason for you to be guilty about it.” matt says. bucky just shakes his head. matt sighs, gets up and walks around to buckys side of the table.  
“are you going to bite me if i hug you?” matt asks. bucky snorts and shakes his head, so matt leans down and wraps his arms around the lyudoyed. bucky leans back into the contact and give a pleasant sigh. then he gives a soft growl and pulls away. matt lets him, even though he thinks bucky deserves a longer hug.  
“do you mind if i crash on the couch?” matt finally asks after a few minutes of silence. “im exhausted hells kitchen is a ways away.” bucky shrugs.  
“sure. I'm just… I'm going to go to bed.” he says, then walks over to the vent in the ceiling and takes the cover off, then jumps up into them. matt listens as bucky crawls through the vents until he is over steve and his bedroom, then settles down in a pile of blankets already up there. that means buckys been sleeping in the vents for a while now, probably since he had the nightmare. matt sighs and settles into the couch, thinking about bucky. he deserves to be happier with himself, shouldn't have to be so miserable. all matt can do is pray that bucky will find his way.


	6. the punisher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky meets frank castle

frank castle is a little more than surprised at what he sees through the scope of his gun. theres a man, or maybe not exactly a man, crouched over one of those hydra assholes, taking bites of the hydra agents arm as he screams. but while that in itself is surprising, what surprises frank the most is that red, the ‘no kill’ choirboy is standing in the same room, letting it happen. sure his mouth is twisted up into something of a grimace, and his hands are held in fists by his sides, but he's not interfering. frank shifts and reds head tilts then looks directly at franks position, then waves at him, gesturing frank to join him. 

frank is, yet again, surprised. red wants to be in the same room as him? frank isn't sure, he was not involved in this battle, feels no need to be present. however, the man, the one eating another, intrigues him. curiosity winning over good sense, frank packs up his rifle and makes his way down to the warehouse that red is in. he opens the side door slowly, gun in one hand, ready to fire if necessary. as soon as he steps foot into the warehouse, he can hear a blasting growl. he looks over and sees the man, though at this point its pretty clear that this is not a man, with its head turned toward frank. 

“easy, bucky.” red is saying in a soothing voice. “hes a friend. no need to attack him.” the thing just growls louder and stands up, stretching out its fingers that on one hand are tipped in dagger like claws, the other, along with the entire arm, looks to be just metal. its teeth are long and sharp with bits of flesh stuck between  
them, and blood is covering the entire front of the things black leather uniform. 

“you don't need the gun frank, all the hydra agents are down.” red tells him as he walks into the building.

“yeah, what about that thing?” frank points at the snarling creature before him. 

“thats bucky, he's very possessive. just stay away from him and you'll be fine.” red instructs. frank steps back and the thing, bucky, crouches down again and continues tearing apart the hydra agents arm.

“bucky huh? you okay with this red?” frank waves his gun in the direction of ‘Bucky’. red sighs. “no, but this warehouse had to be secured, but i couldn't do it on my own, and no one else was available to work with bucky.” 

“and who does it usually ‘work with?’” frank asks.

“his usual handler is hawkeye, but he's out on a mission right now.” red explains. they both turn their attention to bucky when there a loud snap and a happy sounding growl. the thing had snapped the mans bone and tore his arm off, and was gnawing at the end off the splintered stump. frank raises his eyebrows and looks at red. reds face is dark. 

“so i cant kill, but you're okay with this? i don't quite see how that pans out right.”

“yeah, me neither. but i don't really have a choice with bucky.” red says solemnly. 

“no choice? what makes it so you don't have a choice? you'll go after me all night to make sure i don't shoot anyone, what makes this thing so different?” frank demands.

red smirks, “you wont peel the skin of my body and eat it while i watch.”

“and it will?” 

“not in his right mind, but right now, if i got between him and his food? yeah, i think he would.” red admits.

“in his right mind?”

“normally bucky is a very kind, considerate person. its just when he's hunting or eating does he get like this.” 

“person?” frank scoffs.

“yes. person.” matt bites out. 

“hmm.” frank looks bucky up and down. he looks… familiar. oh god. metal arm. this is the winter soldier, the source of endless torture and pain, responsible for dozens of important assassinations, hundreds of murders, killer of men, women, and children. 

“frank, whatever is going on in your head, don't do it.” red warns. frank ignores him and raises his gun at the winter soldier. “frank, stop it!” red yells, catching the attention of the soldier, who sees franks gun raised and snarls menacingly.

“do you know what this is red, what it has done? it is the fist of hydra, its a murderer, an assassin, its a monster!” frank shouts, keeping his gun steady.

“what? no, he's not, put the gun down frank!” red insists, stepping in front of the barrel of the gun. 

“its hydra, red!” frank bellows.

“not anymore!” a different voice rips through the air. franks looks and the winter soldier is standing, breathing heavily, staring at frank.

“not anymore.” it repeats, quieter. 

“explain.” frank orders. the soldier blinks hard and shakes its head, as if to clear it.

“i was hydra, but not by choice. they stole me from my home, they used me, made me kill for them, tortured me. but i did none of it by choice.” the soldier explains. “i harbor no loyalty to them, I'm fucking eating one for gods sake, and you think I'm with them? no. never again.” frank doesn't lower his weapon, but regards the winter soldier. it no longer has that savage look of glee or possessive anger, it just kind of looks… sad. but that means nothing, that is an easy face to put on.

“bucky-” red starts. 

“stay out of this daredevil. and move out of the way” the soldier growls.

“no, bucky-”

“stay out of it, and move!” the soldier snarls, all teeth bared. red shuts up. he doesn't look happy about it, but red takes a few steps to the side, out of the path between the winter soldier and franks gun. 

“give me one good reason i shouldn't shoot you.” frank demands. the soldiers brows furrow and it looks down, as if it has to think about it.

“i cant protect steve if I'm dead.” it finally says. 

“who's Steve?”

“Steve is mine. he's the only reason I'm alive, the only reason a lot of people are alive.” the soldier says. 

“is he family?” frank asks. the soldier shakes its head.

“i loved my family, but each of them were vicious and cruel, steve is neither. steve is good.” the soldier corrects. 

“and you have to protect him? why you?” frank insists.

“like i said, he is mine, i have to protect what is mine.” the soldier shrugs. frank chews his lip, and lowers his gun. 

“if one innocent gets killed, or hurt-” frank warns.

“then I’d do it myself.” the soldier snaps. 

frank nods. “okay.” he turns to red, “thanks for introducing us.”

“I'm never letting you meet any more of my friends, ever.” red grumps.


	7. captain america

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve learns a little more about steve and coulson learns more than he wanted to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the first part takes place when bucky, tony, and steve were in the ski lodge after buckys incident, the second takes place the day after bucky meets coulson

bucky wakes in the middle of the night, a memory tugging at the corner of his mind. “steve.” bucky whispers, shifting in his bed so he's facing steve. 

“mmmm.” steve groans. “what.”

“i think, i think i killed captain america too.” bucky confesses. 

steve starts giggling but stops after a few minutes. “seriously? was this with hydra?”

“yeah, they made me pretend i was bucky, the real bucky.” 

“man, hydra sucks.”

“steve.”

“yeah?”

“he tasted really fucking good.”

“oh my god, go back to sleep.”

————————-

 

the next day, after confirming with stark that coulson does indeed have clearance, bucky is standing outside coulsons office door. he hopes this isn't a horrible idea. he knows its not a good idea, but hopefully not a terrible one. finally he knocks on the door. 

“come in.” came coulsons voice from behind the door. bucky opens the door and walks inside. the office beyond clean, and has trinkets lining the shelves. “do you need something mr. barnes?” coulson asks, standing up from his seat.

“i think i know a little bit more about captain america than you do.” bucky says slowly. “and i think you want to know what i know.”

“oh? and what do you know?” coulson raises an eyebrow, as if he doesn't believe bucky could possibly know more about the ww2 hero than him. 

“i know how he died.” 

“he crashed a plane into the arctic, saving the world.” coulson states.

“yes, he did do that, but he didn't die, he was frozen alive for fifty years.” 

coulsons brow furrows. “what?”

“then hydra found him in the ice, defrosted him, and kept him prisoner for three months, before deciding he was of no use.” bucky has a little bit of a grin on his face at seeing coulsons discomfort. “you of course know i look near identical to sergeant barnes.”

“yes, though I'm not quite following.”

“be patient. they had me go to his cell. he of course thought i was his bucky. he was so confused when i took off the top of his uniform.”

“why would you do that?” coulson demands.

“because i don't just kill my targets agent. no, i don't like to just eat rabbits. you want to know what fury wants hidden so badly? i eat them. the same way i ate captain america. well, not quite the same. he lived much longer than my usual prey, i got to spread his organs across the floor and hold his still beating heart in my hand.” 

coulson looks sick, and sits back down onto his chair heavily. bucky continues, “and you know that the serum he was given changed how he tasted too? he was sweet, and rich, and the best thing I've ever eaten. fuck he tasted so good.” 

coulson has his head in his hands now, and bucky cant help the savage grin that splits his face. “why are you telling me this?” coulson asks.

bucky shrugs. “you wanted to know more about me, i obliged. and you insulted steve in the middle of threatening me when i was already in a bad mood, you're lucky steve got between you and me.”

“i didn't insult him.” coulson protests.

“you only acknowledged him because of someone else! because he happens to have a name you like! the name of someone too much of a coward to even fight back as he was being eaten alive! you think your captain was so strong and so clever, and he thought a monster was his best friend, then was too weak to fight for his own life.” bucky seethes. 

“and i think you need to know one more thing. james buchanan barnes didn't die from the fall. he died when i ate him. he must have gotten a little bit of the same serum as your precious captain america, he was sweet too. my sister loved it.”

“i think its time for you to leave.” coulson demands. bucky smiles. 

“food for thought.” he declares, then walks out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't get me wrong, i love captain america, but i feel like this bucky would have a bit of a problem with him, no matter how good he tasted


	8. fight back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky wants someone to just defend themselves already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this, as is stated, takes place a week after bucky meets the punisher, while bucky is depressed, in chapter 20 of part two

its early in the morning when matt makes it back to his apartment after a long night out as daredevil. he's tired, tired enough he doesn't pick up the heartbeat in his apartment until he's at the roofs door. he pauses, listening more carefully, and relaxes a little when he hears the faint whirring of a mechanical arm, but still enters cautiously. 

its been a week since the bucky punisher introduction, and matt hadn't expected to see, well, hear, bucky so soon. and in his apartment. 

“hey.” he calls out softly to bucky when he reaches the bottom of the stairs. bucky doesn't answer, instead he stands from where he was sitting on the floor and slinks toward matt. everything about his stance screams ‘danger’ to matts senses and matt side steps away from the stairs, giving him more room to maneuver. bucky shifts his course so he is still headed straight to matt. 

“bucky, what are you doing?” matt asks carefully. bucky just tilts his head and quickens his steps, nearly to matt. matts hands drift to the sticks in their holders on his thigh. then bucky is only a step away from him and stops. they both just stand there for a moment, then bucky lashes out with his fist, making matt duck backwards. bucky continues his attacks, pushing matt back. matt takes the defensive. 

“bucky! whats wrong? stop it!” matt continues to block viscous blows, but notices bucky isn't using his claws, or his teeth. there must be a reason. 

“defend yourself! fight back!” bucky snarls. was this a test? 

“no! bucky what are you doing?” bucky just snarls and matt barely dodges the metal fist, a blow that would have surely broken his ribs had he not moved in time. matt only realizes buckys been holding back when he surges forward with increased speed and force.

“fight back!” bucky demands. matt is barely blocking blows now, but bucky just continues his advance. then bucky roars and surges forward, tackling matt to the ground. bucky looms over matt, not bothering to restrain him, and matt just stills, breathing heavily. 

“you lose.” bucky growls. matt can't help the shiver of fear that runs through him. bucky pulls back his metal fist, preparing to smash it into matts head, to crush his skull and oh god this is it. years fighting murderers and rapists and human traffickers, freaking ninjas, and he dies at the hand of a supposed ally. the metal arm whirs then smashes down, toward matts head and theres a terrible crunching noise. 

but matt’s not dead. he focuses and the metal hand has broken the floor inches from his head. matt doesn't think bucky missed, he's too good for that. bucky stays there, hand in matts floor, breathing little growls. then the presence above him is gone. bucky stands swiftly and retreats to matts couch. matt stays on the floor for a moment, stunned, then cautiously sits up. bucky stays on the couch, silent and still. matt stands, slowly. he wants to ask bucky what the hell that was, but is nervous that that would start another fight, so stands in the one spot, not moving. 

“you lost, you're dead, I'm alive.” bucky mutters. 

bucky

 

would anybody defend themselves against him? don’t they understand that he's a monster? that he could kill them all at any time? they seem to forget that he was hydras most prized weapon, that he's an inhuman monster that eats people, that he cant be trusted to not slice all their throats whenever he wants. matt had called him a kind, considerate person, his friend, to one of the only ones who seemed to understand what he truly is, and then even he had let him live. stupid, every single one of them. bucky lets out a deep shuddering breath and rests his head in his hands. 

“bucky, whats wrong?” matt asks, taking hesitant steps forward. he smells of fear. good, at least he has sense enough to be scared. 

“why didn't you fight back? i could have killed you, but you didn't fight back.” bucky whispers, knowing matt will hear it. 

“could've, yeah, but you didn’t.”

“you didn't know that, you were ready to die.” bucky argues.

“yeah, i was.” matt admits. “i thought you were going to kill me, but you're still my friend and i didn't want to hurt you.”

“ha. like you could. the least you could have done was fight back, defended yourself, tried to stop me.”

“and what good would that have done bucky? like you said, i couldn't hurt you, and i wouldn't hurt you.” matt pauses. “whats this all about bucky?” bucky takes a deep shuddering breath. 

“stark refuses to promise to kill me if needed, i don't think clint will keep his promise. natasha would do it anyways, i don't need to ask her. I'm glad your buddy said he would, he seems like he would keep that promise. and you, you will hardly defend yourself, let alone attack back.” bucky has his head in his hands, eyes closed. 

“yeah, frank will keep that promise, and i cant make it. I'm not going to kill you bucky, no matter what you do.” matt tells bucky. bucky sighs. 

“no matter what huh? i can think a few ways to make you want to.” bucky says, and stands. “what if i tracked down foggy huh?” matt stiffens. “what if i tore him apart and ate his flesh and sent you his heart? then i could track down karen. i think id just shoot her, I'm a very good sniper. what would you do then?”

matt 

 

matt can feel the devil bubbling up in him. he remembers mrs. cardenas, how he felt when she was killed, how ready he was to kill fisk. matt just stands there, breathing heavily. but bucky wouldn't do that, bucky is too good to do that. he's in a bad spot right now, thinks he needs people to attack him to cope, wants to feel something, even if all it is is pain and loneliness. 

“you wont do that bucky. i know you won’t.” matt says. 

“and how do you know that? you don't know anything about me! I'm a monster, an assassin, the fist of hydra, and you think i wouldn't kill two pathetic targets?” bucky growls. 

“no, you won’t. you're not in a good place right now bucky, you need to go home and stay with steve, you always feel better with him around.” matt tells bucky. 

bucky snorts. “steve, thats everyones solution. steve has his own life you know. he's not my babysitter.”

“so what do you want?” matt asks. surely bucky wants something out of this endeavor. 

“i want someone to understand what i am! that I'm not the kind, sweet guy that goes on mission for the sake of goodness, but that I'm not! that i could kill any one of you, anytime i want. that all i ate for the first twenty years of my life were innocent hikers and apparently war heroes, that the next seventy were spent crafting me into the perfect weapon. that i don't go on these missions for good reasons, but for selfish, greedy,   
monstrous reasons, to hunt and feed on human flesh, for revenge! i thought your buddy, frank understood, but even he was fooled. I'm tired of playing pretend, of acting like I'm a good guy when all i want to do is rip everyones throats out!” bucky seethes, stepping closer and closer to matt as he rants. 

bucky is right in front of matt, heaving in breaths, then exhaling with force and there's a constant rumbling growl in his chest. then his metal hand flies forward and wraps around matts neck. bucky doesn't squeeze, just pushes matt along to the couch, where forces him down onto his back. matt goes along, confident bucky wont hurt him. at least, not in any way that would cause lasting damage. 

then bucky tightens his hand around matts neck, and matt cant breathe. he tries to suck in breaths, but bucky just tightens his grip around his throat. 

“im sorry matt, but i cant have you following me home.” bucky apologizes, not letting up the pressure. matt starts writhing around on instinct, trying to get free from buckys hand, scrabbling with his hands on buckys arm, but the metal stays firm. matts hearing begins to get fuzzy. 

bucky

 

matt goes limp in buckys hand, slumping into the couch. he releases the mans neck and stands up straight. he grabs a blanket from matts bed and drapes it over him, so he wont get cold during the night. not really helping his whole ‘big scary monster’ image, but he feels bad for scaring matt. 

bucky starts his trudge back to the tower. once there he slips back up into the vents and curls up in the blankets, listening to steves soft breaths below him.


	9. foggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky meets foggy and loses his temper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know, i just really like writing matt. and I'm pretending karen knows about daredevil, and the firm is still all together and everything is happy and good dammit

matt doesn't sit on the side-lines as hydra falls. he helps take down rogue factions of the organization, clearing hells kitchen of nazi scum for good. 

a month after the dust has settled matt is sitting in his office reviewing case files when he hears footsteps coming up the stairs to their offices. curious, as they still don't get many clients, he listens carefully, and the sound of buckys arm catches his ear. matt rises to his feet, buckys threat from a month ago still ringing in his ears. bucky knocks on the door to the office and karen stands to answer it. 

matt is nervous. if bucky feels in the mood to follow through on his threat, karen may very well be walking to her death, but really there is nothing he can do. but he wouldn’t, and matt just needs to keep reminding himself that. 

karen opens the door and greets bucky with a smile on her face. bucky smiles back, lips closed. “i was wondering if i could speak to matt?” he requests. 

“do you have an appointment?” karen asks.

“im a friend of his, we need to do some catching up i think.” bucky explains. 

“let him in karen.” matt calls out. karen steps aside and allows bucky through. he slips past her and walks to matts room, head down. he pauses outside the doorway, waiting.

“come in bucky.” matt allows. bucky steps into his office. 

“i need to apologize for what happened. i know its not an excuse but i was in a really bad place and i was so frustrated, so angry, and i took it out on you, and i cant apologize enough for that.” bucky says. matt sighs.

“i understand bucky. i get angry, really angry, and i take out on criminals nearly every night.” matt explains.

“yeah, but you don't take it out on your friends, don't threaten your friends’ own friends. god if anyone threatened steve like that id rip their intestines out, and i had the nerve to do it to you?” bucky shakes his head.

“its okay bucky, i forgive you.” matt assures him. 

“you shouldn’t.” before matt can argue, bucky speaks up again. “i came to tell you i wont be in new york anymore. I'm going back to the alps, back home.”

“im happy for you bucky.” matt pauses, debates. bucky waits for him to continue. “would you like to meet foggy?” 

bucky

 

buckys jaw drops. “youre kidding. i tell you I'm going to tear him to shreds, eat his flesh and give you his heart and you want me to meet him?”

“well, just don't do any of those things and we should be good, right?” matt smiles. bucky starts laughing. really laughing, head thrown back and a smile on his face. bucky finally calms and looks back at matt.

“yeah, alright. does he know about… you? what you can do?” bucky asks. matt nods but says nothing. he leads bucky to the other side of the offices and knocks on foggys door. 

“what?” was foggys reply. matt shakes his head fondly.

“we've got a guest foggy, i want you to meet him.”

“alright, be out in a sec.” foggy calls out. matt and bucky step away from the door and wait. true to his word, it only takes a few seconds for foggy to open the door. “alright, who is the mystery friend?” he says, rubbing his hands together. 

“foggy, this is bucky. bucky, foggy.” matt introduces. 

“bucky huh? a name as ridiculous as foggy! hooray! three cheers for the weird names club!” foggy raises a fist toward bucky and for a moment he thinks the man is going to punch him, but foggy just holds his fist in the air between them. “dont leave me hanging man.” foggy says after bucky doesn't do anything.

“youre supposed to bump his fist with yours.” matt tells bucky. so bucky hesitantly makes a fist and bumps it gently onto foggys. 

“dude, is that a metal hand? cus that looks like a metal hand and that would be freaking awesome.” foggy bursts out. oh. bucky hadn't realized he had used that hand. he tucks his hand quickly into his pocket. “oh sorry man, is that a sore subject? cus i can totally drop it. ill drop it.” foggy gets out quickly. 

“no its okay, its just, the arm is a weapon, not many people think its ‘awesome’.” bucky says. 

“its your whole arm? wow, thats even cooler. can i see? you can say no by the way, thats totally cool too.” but bucky takes his hand out of his pocket and pushes up his sleeve, showing foggy his arm. “whoa. just… whoa. matt, where did you find this guy?”

“i was, uh, when i was out patrolling, he…” matt trails off awkwardly.

“nearly killed you?” bucky finishes for him. 

“what?!” foggy squawks. 

“you didn't have to tell him that bucky.” matt sighs. bucky shrugs. 

“what, okay, what?! first of all, why would you do that? second of all, how could you do that? matts a freaking ninja!” foggy demands.

“he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I'm a different person when I'm fighting. and as for how?” bucky holds up the metal arm and grins, baring his teeth. foggys eyes widen.

“are you vampire?” foggy breathes. bucky rolls his eyes.

“i swear, the next person to call me a vampire gets their liver removed.” bucky huffs. matt slaps him lightly on the shoulder. “what? I'm tired of it!”

“no livers are being ripped out.” matt chastises him. 

“not while you're around anyway.” bucky grumbles. 

“okay, time out.” foggy interjects. “i feel like I'm being left out on a key piece of information here.”

“yes, you are.” bucky confirms.

“do i get to know it?” foggy asks. bucky sighs.

“under three conditions. one; you don't get mad at matt, he has no control over me. two; you don't touch me, because my instinct reaction will not be pretty. and three; you don't tell anybody. no one. because if you do a lot of good people get in trouble. now, you may want to be sitting down.” bucky lists. foggys face is a little pale and he beckons them inside his office and sits down in his chair. matt sits on one opposite the desk and bucky remains standing. 

“okay, so, whats the big secret?” foggy says. 

“i need you to understand a few things first. remember that I'm not human.” bucky scrubs his flesh hand over his face. 

“bucky, you don't have to do this.” matt says softly.

“i feel like i owe it to him though, after what i said.” bucky says back. 

“wait, what did you say?” foggy asks. 

“ill get to that, if you don't walk out of the room by then. you are free to leave the office any time, you are welcome to tell me to get the hell out, just remember rule number two.” bucky offers. foggy just nods. 

“have you read the files that were dumped on the internet about hydra?” foggy nods. “what do you know about the winter soldier?”

“that he's one scary motherfucker, an assassin for the last seventy years, so he probably doesn't even exist. has a…oh fuck. has a metal arm.” foggys face morphs into one of concern, colored with fear. off to a great start then. 

“i was their puppet for seventy years, their greatest weapon. i was electrocuted and tortured and controlled. i was the fist of hydra, a faithful if unwilling servant. now i also need you to understand this; none of that has any effect on what I'm going to tell you next.” foggys brows furrow. 

bucky takes a deep breath. “i eat humans foggy. i eat people and i enjoy it because thats what my species eat. in the mountains we fed off campers and hikers, with hydra i fed off my targets. and now? now i feed off hydra. i slaughter them ruthlessly, and cruelly, then i eat their bodies.” foggy now looks ready to throw up, his face screwed up in a grimace and his hands in his hair. 

“the first time i met matt i was on a mission for shield, and i was eating. matt tried to get in between me and my food and had my partner not stopped me i would have killed and eaten him too.”

“oh jesus. oh shit, matty what the hell?” foggy accuses. “you know about this, about him eating people, he nearly killed you, and you're friends with him?”

“what was rule number one?” bucky snaps. foggy inhales sharply at buckys tone.

“dont get mad at matt.” foggy recites.

“very good. remember that.”

“what about what you said, you said you felt you owed this to me because of something you said.” foggy prods.

bucky ducks his head. “this I'm not proud of. i was in a bad place about a month ago, i was frustrated and angry and depressed, and i wanted a fight, i wanted to be punished for what i am. so i came to matts apartment and i attacked him, but he wouldn't fight back. he just kept blocking and stepping back, but never threw a hit of his own the stupid idiot. so i threatened you. i threatened to rip you apart, to eat you, to tear out your heart and give it to matt, then i threatened to shoot karen. i thought for a moment i nearly tipped  
matt over the edge, that he would finally fight back, but the moron just stood there. he didn't retreat when i approached him again, didn't fight as i put my hand around his throat, only struggled on reflex as i was strangling him. i knocked him out, i could've killed him, and he did nothing.” bucky finishes and sinks to the floor, putting his head in his hands. he hears matt getting up and walking around the desk to foggy, then pulling him into his arms. 

“you don't have to worry about me anymore though. I'm going away, back home, and you'll never see me again, so no need to worry about that.” bucky assures foggy. foggy turns in matts embrace to face bucky.

“and what about all the people you've already slaughtered while you were here?” foggy demands. 

“they were all hydra, all scum and a plague on the earth, they got what they deserved!” bucky snarls, blood suddenly boiling and he stands swiftly. 

“no, they deserve a trial, jail, not execution by monster!” foggy snaps back. 

“foggy-” matt starts, but bucky interrupts him.

“ha. matt said the same thing. but i don't agree. i think they all deserved what they got, a slow painful death by the claws of the very monster they had once controlled. and foggy, you have to understand this as well. revenge is not the only reason i do this. no, I'm a greedy insatiable creature with a lust for blood and flesh, that revels in a humans dying screams, that draws out its foods pain for fun.” bucky drawls, the creature poking out between tears in his neatly formed mask.

“bucky, stop.” matt orders. “you're not in your right mind, you need to take a step back and calm down.” bucky growls but obeys. “good, now do you want me to call steve or clint?”

“what?”

“im calling one of them to come pick you up, you don't have a choice in that, but you can decide who i call.” matt tells him.

“i dont need a handler!” bucky hisses.

“no, but you need a friend.” matt says softly. bucky doesn't want steve to see him like this, has worked so hard to be good for steve, and clint can actually defend himself if bucky slips more.

“clint.” bucky huffs. 

“okay, thank you. can you wait in the reception area please? ill be right out. don't scare karen.” matt motions him out of foggys office. bucky trudges out of the office and sits on the floor next to the chairs in the reception area. karen looks at him curiously, but without fear. he bares his teeth at her. her eyes widen and she quickly looks back down at her desk. matt walks out of foggys office and toward bucky, then crouches down in front of him.

“i called clint, he’ll be here in about ten minutes.” matt informs him. “now come on, tell me whats up, something has to be wrong. and i thought i told you not to scare karen.”

“i won’t be with steve.” bucky mumbles. 

“when won’t you be with steve? when you go back home?” matt asks. bucky nods his head.

“i’ll be alone for most of the year and I'm scared of what i’ll become because of it.” bucky explains. “for the past year I've had steve every day, but now hydras gone and he can go home and i can go home and i want that, i really do, but i also want steve.”

“youre scared. you don't know whats going to happen, and you're acting out aggressively in response. that happens. id rather you didn't scare my friends in the process, but you didn't lay a hand on them, and thank you for that. and bucky, you'll be okay. you said most of the year, so you'll still see steve, even if its not as much as you'd like.” matt reasons. bucky huffs, but says nothing. 

matt is still crouched in front of bucky when theres a knock at the door. he stands and waves a hand at karen. “ill get it, don't worry.” matt walks to the door and opens it for clint.

“hey, thanks for coming.” matt greets.

“yeah, no problem man. wheres my favorite toothy metal armed assassin?” clint peers around.

“this way.” matt beckons and leads clint to where bucky is sitting on the floor.

“hey buddy, whatcha doin’? i hear you've been doing your best to scare the finest legal firm in hells kitchen.” clint says. bucky growls a little.

“come on bucky, lets get you back. you didn't eat yesterday and theres an adorable delicious rabbit on the counter for you at home. i bet we could even scrounge up some bacon for you.” clint says. the tone of his voice sounds like he's talking to a child, and bucky hates it. hates that he's digressed to the point where clint feels he needs to use that tone of voice. bucky snarls threateningly at clint, and clint takes a step back.

“okay, no need for that buddy. do you need a friend right now, or a handler, because at this rate its looking like you need a handler.” clint warns. bucky tries to reign himself in, he really does, but another growl works its way out of his throat and he's standing, baring his teeth. 

“okay everyone, plug your ears and hum your favorite tune.” clint calls out to matt, karen, and foggy, who had stepped out of his office when clint had arrived. matt immediately plugs his ears and begins to hum, and the other two hesitantly follow. bucky knows what he's going to do, and one part of him wants to attack clint for daring to control him, but he holds himself back, knowing this is best. 

“Desiderans. Rubiginem, decem et septum, mane, caminus, novem, benigne, donec, unum, suspendisse car” clint recites quickly and quietly. 

the creature shudders and its eyes lock onto its handler. “ready to comply.” the handler lets out a long breath. 

“alrighty guys, we're all clear.” clint says loudly, giving a thumbs up to everyone. matt, karen and foggy pull their fingers out of their ears. karen and foggy just stare. “sorry about that guys, its not that i don't trust you, but bucky would be pissed at me if i let other people hear his words.”

“and he wasn't pissed before?” karen says weakly. 

“uh, well, he was, but I'm talking momentous, ‘im gonna eat your intestines while you watch’ pissed.” clint elaborates. the creature is waiting for an order from its handler, but clint seems to be distracted by the other humans in the room.

“um, im sorry, but what the FUCK just happened?! whys he all ‘still as a statue’ when just a few seconds ago he looked ready to rip your throat out?!” foggy shouts. the handler still isn't paying attention to the creature.

“ready to comply.” it repeats.

“ill be right with ya bucky, i promise, just gotta calm these guys down a bit first.” the handler whispers to it. 

“calm us down? how about you just explain buddy! whats with the ‘ready to comply’?” foggy demands. 

matt turns to foggy “foggy, how do you think hydra controlled him all those years? does he seem like the kind of person to just willingly let himself be commanded and tortured?”

“hang on, is this… is this the winter soldier?” karen whispers.

clint

 

oh boy what has he gotten himself into. karen has probably seen all the reports of the winter soldier that leaked online after the whole ‘oh yeah, pierce is the leader of hydra, surprise!’ business. all she probably sees is a decades old dangerous hydra assassin, responsible for dozens of assassinations and hundreds of murders. 

looking around at bucky, clint can see why. bucky is completely still, hardly looking as though he's breathing, back straight and head facing clint, eyes dead but alert at the same time. his hair hangs in sweat soaked curtains down the sides of his face, and his mouth is slightly open, showing off his teeth. his left sleeve is rolled up to the elbow, the glistening metal shining dangerously in the sunlight. but hey, at least he doesn't have blood all down his front. 

“he was, but now he's not.” clint tries to explain. 

“oh he just, suddenly, isn't anymore?” karen laughs, disbelieving. 

“look, he's had a twisted, messed up life, so yeah. he gets a little angry sometimes, he loses control, but he also goes through extreme states of depression where he hates himself so much he doesn't think he deserves to live, let alone be maybe happy for once in his life. but he's a good person, he loves his friends, and would do anything to protect them. he was once the winter soldier, yes, but now he's just bucky, and deserves to not be accused of being the monster he already thinks he is.” clint ends his rant with a puff. everyone was stunned into silence for a moment. 

“ready to comply.” bucky repeats, sounding a little bit frustrated. 

“i know buddy, you're doing good, just a little bit longer then we can go do something fun okay?” clint nods to bucky. bucky, as expected, doesn't respond. clints gonna get him so much bacon for being so patient. he sighs and turns back to karen and foggy. 

“any more questions, accusations, threats, etcetera?” clint sighs. he can see foggy opening his mouth to say something, but matt cuts him off. 

“i can answer any more questions they have clint, you and bucky can head off.” matt assures clint. clint sighs in relief and nods.

“alright, see ya around matt.” clint says, then turns to bucky, “alright buddy, you wanna take the roofs?” bucky opens his mouth to answer but clint cuts him off, “rhetorical question, i know, the creature does not want, etcetera. but we are going to have fun dammit.” 

matt 

 

matt listens as they go down the stairs, then as clint leads bucky to the roofs and they start racing across the rooftops. literally racing, clint having told bucky “whoever gets to the tower first is the winner. your job is to try to win. lets see what you've got!” then speeding off, bucky catching up and quickly overtaking him. 

matt must have a small smile on his face as he listens to clint cursing and trying to speed up, because foggy interrupts his listening as clint trips and lands on his face.

“matt! earth to matt! quit your grinning, none of this is worth smiling about buddy!” foggy snaps his fingers in front of matts face. matt grabs his hand. 

“clint just fell on his face, thats funny. but the whole thing with bucky? no, not funny.” matt agrees and releases foggys hand. 

“so what the hell matt? the winter soldier shows up at our door and confesses not only to murder, but to eating his victims? and you're just… cool with that?” foggy trails off.

“no, foggy, I'm not.” matt states. “i hate it, and i wish he would stop, but i also know he's not going to, and that there is no way i can stop him, and I've made my peace with that. so i put it in the corner of my mind and i instead focus on who bucky is as a person.”

“as a person?” foggy scoffs. “matt, he's a monster! a… man eating, toothy, metal armed monster!”

“half an hour ago you thought that metal arm was the coolest thing you'd ever seen.” matt points out.

“yeah, that was before i knew people had been killed by it!” foggy protests. “and he almost killed you with it! he fucking strangled you matt? and you didn't think that that was at all information we needed to know? not even mentioning the fact he said he'd rip me to pieces!”

“he wouldn't do that foggy, he was trying to get me to attack him. he felt he needed to be punished just because of who he is, and thought i would do it. i wouldn’t, and he knew i would follow him when he left so yeah, he knocked me out.” matt answers. 

“okay, what about today, why'd he go out of control today?”

“because he's scared foggy. he's scared, and confused, and he's going to be without his best friend for the first time since they've met, and he's scared what happened today will happen permanently.” he explains.

“thats not an excuse for going all homicidal! why'd he even come here if he felt out of control?” foggy accuses.

“he didn't come here out of control, his control slipped while he was talking about hydra. he never meant for this to happen. and the fact we’re all still alive means he had better control than you're thinking he had.” matt tells foggy.

“so he could have just killed us because he was talking about the people he worked for?” foggy asks incredulously. 

“foggy, did you not listen to anything he said? he was held captive, tortured, forced to do their bidding. all he wanted was to go home. and now, finally, after over seventy years, he is and he's scared. he's scared and we brought up a sensitive topic that would make anyone get violent had they gone through what he had.” matt insists.

“so now its our fault this happened?” foggy exclaims.

“no, its not anybodies fault, it just happened, and we dealt with it and now everything is fine.”matt says in a soothing voice.

“argh! i cant believe you murdock, all the messed up situations you get us into, its not cool!” foggy points a finger at matt.

“yeah, this is pretty messed up, isn't it.” he smiles.

“so fucking messed up.” foggy grumbles. 

“what do you think karen?” matt calls over to her.

“so messed up.” she agrees.


End file.
